garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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