I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
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