i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
