Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
