Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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