so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Randomize
