is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
