where am i from again
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
