I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Michael Bay diarrhea
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
