Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
