she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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