so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
