DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You have to summon your inner elephant
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
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