I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
