Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
