why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize