Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Everclear isn't food dammit
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
