and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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