why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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