Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
