she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
