It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.