i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?