But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?