I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
23 Annoying things Girls Do When They’re Trying To Be Cute
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for