I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
