TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
