I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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