you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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