If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
