Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
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WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
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Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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