"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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