saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
