found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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