Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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