My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize