I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The Olympian is in my bed
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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