dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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