i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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