Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
