Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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