I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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