All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
