I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
