I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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