our cab driver is having phone sex.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
