How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
