hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
