You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
