Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Randomize
