Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
