So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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