did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
