dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
