I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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