is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
