it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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