I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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