I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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