did you get engaged???
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
