this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
