Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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