my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
