who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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