Heybabeimwearingurpanties
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize