pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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