This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
