so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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