I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
