I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
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ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
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What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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