Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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